My Creation # 2 – Tile Painting

My Creation # 2 - Tile Painting

During my school days, I was very fond of tile painting. I used to create different styles and gift my friends. I have also decorated my room with few. Here is one of my creations.



Decision – Part 2

John had to make a decision. He loved them both but he chose Jane because he wanted a wife who is not into any job. Anna was independent and would not take orders from anyone and John required a slave like devotion. But he could not shut down his feelings or even tell Anna to her face, so he said nothing. Both of them knew no matter how much they loved each other, they were not going to last. He was with her to make love only and ignored any talks related to their future together. One hour they were love and the next hour she didn’t hear from him again. He won’t even take her calls. He won’t reply to her messages. It confused her. He said he did not ignore but he did not even care. Whenever he did not answer, she fought and cried and after she had gone, he would think about her for a long time. She made him feel desirable. He wanted to forget about her. He could not stop thinking of her cute face. But she was changed. That sweet cheerful girl turned into a sad stressful lady. Their relationship didn’t bring them together but pulled them apart and broke into pieces. Anna also wished to forget it like a beautiful dream and move on. If only she could! But it was too hard for her to do that. She could not deny thinking of him. She thought of him every time… after waking, before sleeping, while working and eating… She laughed till her body shook thinking of what she had done to herself and tears used to stream down her cheeks. She only asked if it mattered to him.

One day, John said he never made commitment to her so there is nothing such as cheating her and hence any reason to cry. There was so much to say on that statement of John but in that moment she could not think of a single word. Is commitment the only proof of your care and love??? Anna broke completely. She was numb. She knew old her will never come back. It’s not that she had no feelings for him; it’s more that she had no feelings anymore.  She didn’t know of what she wanted to feel anymore. She wanted peace. There was no reason to be angry. But love? No she could not love again not after John. In another life, she could have loved him. But that chance had passed, blown away like a feather in the wind. She knew she would never go back.

They simply stopped meeting as before and made themselves busy in their work. They never discussed. It just ended. After a year, she got engaged. When John found it, he was upset. John married to Jane. Exactly one month after John tied the knot with Jane, Anna married.

John sent her flowers. And he did so for every special occasion of her…

P.S. – There are things that have to be done and you do them and you never talk about them. You don’t try to justify them. They can’t be justified. You just do them. Then you forget it.


Decision – Part 1

October 2000, John went to an advertisement company as his first job. With the induction of all new joiners, John found the first batch mate, a girl who could match him in looks and attitude. Her name was Anna. Both were 22 years old. They were dressed like young professionals, she in white shirt and A-line skirt and he in shirt and trouser. They met every day in the training room. There was a method in his madness. She just wished she knew what it was. She was also no less than a walking ball of energy, joie de vivre! Actually they were an electrifying pair in every assignment they were provided. Outside training room, John would find an even higher voltage connection with her. By the end of the training, both were prepared to work for bigger projects and also became good friends.

Their conservative appearance hid the fact that both shared a devil within. They were quiet, polite and careful. But Anna knew what was going to happen once they got to know each other. John did too. They both felt a current that went straight through them. Anna was a combination of beauty and talent for John. They realized the relationship would be serious. The minute they looked into each other’s eyes they clicked… One day, John asked if Anna was single. Learning she was, John picked up the phone and asked,” How about going out?” It was a New Year party 2001… In her black dress and eager virginity, she was so radiant as to be almost beautiful. Both partied a lot.

Anna had something wonderfully unspoiled about her. She had a quality that he never had and wanted badly. Something so precious that he had almost given up believing that it existed – innocence! Slowly their late night talks revealed a shared love of music and parties. Soon they were wheeling through roads on bike. Both were very happy together. But it was the worst possible time for John to fall in love. Only few months earlier he had proposed his childhood friend Jane. But neither John nor his kittenish friend Anna could deny what was happening. They were like kids laughing and having fun. They spent a lot of time together. They tried everything. She never had a man who touched her body in secret places with such respectful love like he did. Sometimes they disappeared from work. Lunch together. It was a force they could not control. They likely talked marriage. She used to tell him everything and there was no reason not to tell him, it was just a habit. Anna was in love with John. She knew he had little affairs all the time. She did not know if they would marry and John wanted a woman who understands that things like this might happen. The same way he always had and time kept rolling.

Many a times, she said it must never happen again. But those two were so nauseatingly in love. They made promises of better life, white collar jobs etc etc…

A truth… A message

Rahul was the only son of his parents and was brought up by them fulfilling his every small need. He completed his graduation 2 years back. It took a lot for Rahul to finally break down and believe that his father had few months left to live though he was only 58 years old. It was a miracle that they were together for nearly 2 years since it was found that his father had Cancer but the condition started worsening since few months, and all the methods tried to cure had not been successful. It was only a year that Rahul had started with his job. He was trying his best to make arrangements for money. He wanted to work to earn more money, but he wanted to be with his father even more. His parents did not have any savings because all their hard earned money was spent on Rahul’s graduation. There was so much more he had liked to accomplish with his father while he was still with him.

Many a times his father was admitted in hospital and he used to turn fine. But this time when his father was taken to the hospital, he had a tinged feeling that it would be his last visit. All the tests, hospital visits, medicines, prescriptions made Rahul tired but all he wanted was to make his father well again. When all wandering led to the same dead end, when all the money spent in medicines and tests left his father just as hollow as ever, he was broken inside. Doctors used to say he’ll be fine as truth telling and medicine just didn’t go together except in dire emergencies. Rahul and his Mom used to talk to his father. His father did not speak but he did hear everything. Tears used to stream down his eyes. Rahul was unable to see his father’s condition.

In his last days, he was shifted to a ventilator. It went sure that it was difficult to save him. Then just a day after, his father took his last breath and left them. His father, who had suffered from Cancer, had prepared Rahul for that day. Rahul protected himself from sadness of his father’s demise so as to support his mother but to his surprise in all those years with his father, she had already prepared herself and did not drop a tear saying that his father might feel bad. Those words gave him strength to fight with that delicate moment. Most of his friends came to help in the cremation ceremony. Rahul was much delighted to see his friends in need. Well it’s true that family isn’t always blood. It’s the people in your life who want you in theirs. The ones who accept you for who you are… the ones who would do anything to see you smile… and who love you no matter what…

However, he regretted one thing that he could not say “Thanks” from the core of his heart to his Best Father for doing infinite things for him, for making him a better human being, for providing him good morals and last but not the least for pouring all his love to his son. The sentiment evoked a range of emotions in Rahul. It made him feel bad. His mother always praises his father and says that he loved Rahul so much. His father loved playing instruments and singing. There was something about his father that Rahul wanted to learn, grow into and hide in where he could turn away from taking into his family responsibilities.

Here, to describe a truth has been my ceaseless effort, as it had appeared to me, and in the exact manner, in which I had arrived at it.

P.S. – I believe that God gives us our experiences so that we can help others who go through similar experiences. God certainly can’t help everyone.

My creation #1 – Offering to GOD


While going through my old creations, I came across this one that I sketched 12 years ago. Those were the days when I used to sit and sketch day long. But now-a-days busy schedule does not allow me to do the same. I do not even remember when I last picked up a pencil for shading…

Here, the woman is offering flowers to the GOD. She belongs to the Indian Epic era. Well, the position of women in the Epic and Vedic Era is very hard to explain. Women played an important role but they were also subjected to restrictions. In some ways it appears that their situation deteriorated severely and on the other hand it also seems that this was the period in the history of the religion that women have gained the most power. But one thing is obvious, that these ages saw the most glorious days for women in the Hindu religion.

Birthday Gift…

Birthday gifts, wedding gifts, anniversary gifts, promotion gifts, farewell gifts etc … I’m sure everyone loves receiving gifts. So do me.  Specially, the gifts for which we never have an idea if it could be gifted to us, make us surprisingly happy.

On my last birthday, I was gifted a cute round aquarium with four fishes (one fighter fish, one golden and two smaller fishes). I was very much delighted when my friends gifted that. I had never thought of keeping fishes. I felt really good to have them. They were so quiet and energetic. As neither my friends nor I was aware of the amount of food to be served, I put much food and left for work. When I returned back, I noticed except the fighter fish rest were lying down. I tapped the glass but none moved and tears rolled down my cheeks. I blamed myself for those small fishes and buried them in a garden that too on my birthday!! I did not know how they died… because of the extra amount of food or the temperature or any other reason! The biggest sorrow was that they did not stay with me even for a day!!


blurred memory… 😦

I was only left with a beautiful blue fighter fish. I promised myself to take more care of him. It was really a good experience to have him. He was very lively. I used to serve him daily morning before leaving for work and kept in mind not to put much food in the aquarium. I made sure that the aquarium water is changed at regular intervals and kept clean. Whenever I tapped the round bowl, he used to swim in the whole aquarium. I loved it when he used to rise and put his mouth out of water. I used to watch him eat his food. Before going to bed and after waking up I used to see if his movements are as active as always. I enjoyed having such a wonderful pet. But few months into our time together, I noticed he was not eating like he had been. He seemed weak and slow. I did not have any idea if any doctor could help my blue fish. I was worried and disappointed. I fed him frequently, and then starved him for a couple of days. Still, he remained on the bottom of the tank. The slow, tender flap of his gills was the only indication he was alive.

Then one Sunday morning I saw flakes of fish food bobbed on the water’s surface and he continued to hug the bottom of the tank. He did not rise. And I began to feel the merest hint of alarm. I tapped on the glass bowl to startle him. I removed him, emptied the water, scrubbed the bowl, refilled it with tap water, squeezed in a few drops of purifier, slid him back in…

I did all what any good friend could to save a pet would do…

But alas, he too left.


beautiful blue fighter fish